SEASON 05 | EPISODE 03
Immediately after moving with C and M from Zambia to Seattle, WA, Sophie starts bringing C to various doctors, reporting severe health issues. Just three days after C’s third birthday, she is diagnosed with Alternating Hemiplegia of Childhood (AHC), a rare, one-in-a-million neurological disorder.
Simultaneously, Sophie enrolls her older daughter, M, in an elite gymnastics program. We speak to some of the moms who knew Sophie from the gym to get a better picture of Sophie and the two girls. They reveal a picture of a woman who, despite seeming to move from one crisis to the next, is somehow caring for a medically fragile child, nurturing an aspiring Olympian and financing all of this without a job or a partner.
Host Andrea Dunlop:
https://www.andreadunlop.net
For behind-the-scenes photos:
https://www.instagram.com/andreadunlop/
Support the show and get exclusive bonus content:
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For information and resources:
https://www.munchausensupport.com
The American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children’s MBP Practice Guidelines can be downloaded here.
More about Dr. Marc Feldman:
https://munchausen.com
Transcript
[00:00:00] Andrea VO: With the elements of evangelical missionary work and transracial adoption in this season’s case, I’ve gone into some unfamiliar territory. But one thing about this story that feels very familiar is the way that Sophie Hartman appears to forever be in some kind of crisis. She seemed to move from one big drama [00:00:20] to the next.
[00:00:20] Andrea VO: This was one of the primary things we heard from the numerous folks we spoke to on background for this story. Whether it was people who knew Sophie in high school or over the last few years here in Seattle. They told us there always seemed to be something, whether it was Sophie’s own health issues or dramas, this big adoption saga, or something having to do with one of her daughters.
[00:00:39] Andrea VO: [00:00:40] Sophie was constantly mired in some kind of battle, and this is something I remember so vividly with my sister Megan. Her constant dramas and her attempts to explain them away. So yes, okay, Megan shaved off her hair in high school and pretended to be losing it. But you know, teenage girls go through stuff.
[00:00:58] Andrea VO: Okay, so she cashed all [00:01:00] those bad checks, but she was really embarrassed about it, and she probably learned her lesson, right? Nobody’s perfect. Okay, so she did fake a whole pregnancy, but you know, we didn’t like that boyfriend she was with. Maybe this is his fault, somehow. And now she’s got this new boyfriend, and he seems so nice, and maybe he’ll help even her out.[00:01:20]
[00:01:20] Andrea VO: Maybe this is all behind us now, but it was never behind us and what was coming was always worse than the last thing. It wasn’t until I started talking to experts that I understood how compulsive Megan’s behavior had really become. She had this need to keep upping the ante, like she was an addict whose tolerance was increasing, and it [00:01:40] seemed to destroy everything in her path.
[00:01:43] Andrea VO: So we kept waiting for the crisis to be over, but the truth was, we could patch the holes My parents could bail her out one more time, we could make excuses for her once again, but it would never, ever be over. We have [00:02:00] plenty of evidence, both from Sophie’s own journals and from the recollections of folks we spoke to on background, that Sophie’s pattern of constant crisis began long before Zambia, but certainly it escalated once she went abroad.
[00:02:12] Andrea VO: In her memoir, Sophie tells this heroic story of emerging victorious after an agonizing battle to adopt her daughters. [00:02:20] So okay, the battle is won. Smooth sailing now, right? But in a pattern that would ratchet up dramatically over the next several years, for Sophie and her girls, the minute one crisis faded, and they were gone.
[00:02:31] Andrea VO: The next was just beginning.
Intro
People believe their eyes. That’s something that is so central to this topic [00:02:40] because we do believe the people that we love when they’re telling us something. If we didn’t, you could never make it through your day. I’m Andrea Dunlop and this is Nobody Should Believe Me.
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Act 1
There are conflicting accounts of what brought Sophie to the Pacific Northwest in 2015 after C’s adoption was finalized. She told [00:04:00] church friends she’d been called there by God.
[00:04:02] Andrea VO: To others, as in this part of her police interview, she offered a more secular explanation.
[00:04:07] Sophie: Can I ask where your family is? Like where My family’s in Michigan. What brought you out to Washington? Um, we had friends out here from Kirkland, and I had come out to visit. When I moved, um, [00:04:20] back from Zambia, I knew I didn’t really want to live in Michigan because it’s freezing.
[00:04:25] Sophie: And after living in Zambia, like also you’re like having no talk, but I loved it out here. I knew that Seattle Children’s was like this renowned hospital. She’s right, by the way.
[00:04:38] Andrea VO: Seattle Children’s is a renowned [00:04:40] pediatric hospital. They are consistently ranked one of the best children’s hospitals in the U.
[00:04:44] Andrea VO: S. News and World Report and have never been underrated. off that list since they started it 30 years ago. I can tell you from growing up here and spending most of my adult life here, that Seattle Children’s is a singularly beloved institution. However, it’s worth noting that, luckily, there are [00:05:00] many great pediatric hospitals around the country, including places like Mott Hospital in Michigan or Lurie Children’s in Chicago, or any number of other places that would have been closer to where Sophie grew up and where her family was.
[00:05:12] Andrea VO: So again, while the Pacific Northwest is a lovely place to live, it just seems strange to move so far away from your family when you’ve just [00:05:20] become a very young single mom of two. Even this explanation about the cold just feels weird. It’s true that Seattle doesn’t get extreme weather in the winters, but our winters are not warm.
[00:05:30] Andrea VO: In fact, they’re pretty notoriously dreary. As a reminder, we are referring to Sophie’s youngest daughter as C and her eldest daughter as M. [00:05:40] Sophie recounts serious concerns about C’s health going back to her birth in June of 2014. In one of C’s first doctor visits in the U. S., a checkup at the University of Washington’s Center for Adoptive Medicine, Sophie tells them that C suffered from such severe withdrawal symptoms due to in utero drug exposure that the orphanage didn’t know if she’d [00:06:00] survive.
[00:06:00] Andrea VO: It’s impossible to know for sure what kind of shape C and M were really in. in when they moved to the States. Sophie describes the conditions in Zambia as dire, though photos of the girls from this time show them looking happy and healthy, and I have to say, very adorable. We came across numerous, beautiful, mom blog looking photo sessions with Sophie and the [00:06:20] girls from their time in Zambia in our research online.
[00:06:23] Andrea VO: And it’s important to say, of course, that you can never judge someone’s health by looking at them. But given Sophie’s account of the orphanage, the absence of outward signs of distress or malnourishment are notable. And it was nice in these photos, honestly, to just see the girls as little humans. You know, the more we dug into this [00:06:40] case and talked to people who’d known them, the more C& M started to come into focus.
[00:06:44] Andrea VO: People remembered Em as being this very quiet, self sufficient, talented, disciplined kid , while C was really more on the bubbly side and very outgoing and fun to be around. [00:07:00]
[00:07:01] Andrea VO: As Sophie and her daughters settle into life in the Pacific Northwest after their move in 2015, their lives become dominated by two things. The first is C’s medical appointments. Almost immediately upon arriving, C is going to the doctor constantly, for myriad issues. C’s health appears to dominate much of Sophie’s [00:07:20] time right from the jump.
[00:07:21] Andrea VO: From the records we have, we know that when Sophie originally brought C to the States, she was treated for Giardia. This is a very common parasitic infection that is fortunately easily treatable. In the first few years of her life, Sophie reported C having a variety of vomiting spells, constipation, and other gastrointestinal issues.
[00:07:39] Andrea VO: [00:07:40] This ultimately resulted in the placement of a G tube, this is a surgically placed feeding tube, in 2017, and a sarcostomy tube, which is used to flush a child’s bowels, in 2018. Sophie also reported frequent seizures and episodes of full body paralysis. C used a number of different mobility aids during this time, including leg braces and a [00:08:00] wheelchair.
[00:08:01] Andrea VO: And three days after her third birthday, C was given a devastating diagnosis of a rare neurological condition called AHC, alternating hemiplegia of childhood, that causes paralysis and weakness on one or both sides of the body. The instance of this disease? One in a million. [00:08:20] Over the next five years, C was seen at various hospitals as Sophie tried to get answers about her daughter’s complex health issues.
[00:08:28] Andrea VO: During her 2021 interview with Renton PD’s Detective Adele O’Rourke and Detective Jason Wrengley, Sophie describes this medical odyssey.
[00:08:36] Sophie: We moved back to the States basically because I [00:08:40] knew, because I was living overseas. Oh, okay. Oh wow. And I knew that there was something medical going on and we just don’t have access to care.
[00:08:49] Sophie: Um, we immediately were seen at Seattle Children’s. So basically we started at Seattle Children’s and kind of the first diagnostic that they did was a [00:09:00] brain MRI. Um, and that indicated some, uh, brain damage, um, that they likened thinking it’s like due to a drug and alcohol exposure. Okay. Okay. Yes. Okay.
[00:09:14] Sophie: Okay. So that was initial like, okay. Then I was still [00:09:20] noticing a very like episodic, like she’s not herself. Like she’s still so young when she’s not herself. She’s not okay. But then the next day she’s okay. The next day she’s kind of not. So, we started going through, um, like, EEG tests. What, what, I’m sorry, I don’t know anything medical.
[00:09:38] Sophie: EEG is where they, like, put up, [00:09:40] um, like, stickers on your head, and it kind of reads your brain activity level. Oh, okay. Like epilepsy, or like, an episodic disorder. Okay, okay, that makes sense. So, we went through a few of those. Nothing really came of it. Uh, but I just kind of kept pushing. I’m like, nope, something’s going on here.
[00:09:56] Sophie: I don’t know what this is, but it’s like one day she’s paralyzed [00:10:00] one day. Oh my god Not what is what does the paralyzed look like? That’s so scary to me. So she will be like paralyzed I don’t know where like a slow progression. Yeah. Or it’ll be like one side and then it kind of goes to the other side.
[00:10:17] Sophie: Anyways, how does that,
[00:10:18] Detective: is it something like [00:10:20] she’s kind of playing like walking and then it hits her trigger.
[00:10:24] Sophie: It’s usually like a trigger. So like. Sometimes, um, like cold weather or exposure to water or, um, high emotions. So like if she’s super excited, like Christmas morning. Yeah. Almost always she goes into episode because she’s so excited.
[00:10:39] Sophie: Yeah. And then [00:10:40] it’s like, uh, you know. So I have to like, okay, let’s put the presents out all through the month of December so you can see, so it’s not this like explosive excitement.
[00:10:50] Andrea VO: C did have an abnormal MRI when she first arrived in the U. S., which could, as Sophie alludes to here, indicate some damage that was done in [00:11:00] utero.
[00:11:00] Andrea VO: This piece about the MRI, at least, is verifiable, and we’ll come back to it as we dig more into the medical history. Based on the list of visits and procedures we’ve been able to put together, which is by no means a complete list, as well as Sophie’s own description of the care that she required, it’s hard to imagine that the [00:11:20] family had time for much else.
[00:11:21] Andrea VO: And yet, it’s during this time that Sophie jumps into one of the most demanding roles imaginable, being the mom of a child. of a young gymnast on the Olympic track. Sophie’s older daughter, Em, started gymnastics in 2015, right when the family moved to Washington, when Em was about six. So my daughter, Fiona, is six right [00:11:40] now, and already many of my fellow kindergarten parents are getting pulled into aggressive sports scheduling.
[00:11:46] Andrea VO: I, myself, was a serious athlete growing up, and I went on to play basketball. But honestly, it was nothing like these kids have going on today. And I could go on a whole tangent here about this relentless drive to optimize our children, but [00:12:00] needless to say, I see a lot of my fellow parents basically taking on their kids sports lives as a whole second job.
[00:12:06] Andrea VO: So I have pretty immediate context for this. This made me very curious about these two sides of Sophie’s life. where one daughter is in a constant state of crisis with her health and the other one is pursuing elite gymnastics. So we spoke [00:12:20] to someone who knew the family during this time.
[00:12:22] Michelle: I know Sophie through a gym that we both attended for our children.
[00:12:26] Michelle: And she was a parent, um, there obviously. We did all of our meets together. All parents usually from gym to gym hang out together. So I know her just through communications and interactions at Metropolitan. [00:12:40]
[00:12:40] Andrea VO: Michelle was a fellow gymnastics parent at the gym in Kent, Washington, located about an hour south of Seattle.
[00:12:46] Andrea VO: And this gym wasn’t little kids bopping around doing cartwheels, it was serious business.
[00:12:51] Michelle: The program that our daughters were in, they were, um, working towards a tops tops program, which is working towards the National [00:13:00] Olympic team for juniors. So they were doing online school homeschooling. And so they were there when the gym was empty every day.
[00:13:07] Michelle: So it’s a lot more interaction when you’re dropping kids off and picking kids up, cause you’re not dealing with. a lot of other parents that are doing rec, gym, or evening practices. So, um, a little more intense.
[00:13:19] Andrea VO: In general, [00:13:20] Michelle said the parents got along. So, it sounds like when you first met Sophie, she seemed nice, she seemed sweet, kind of sounds like she wanted to be, like, really involved and was, like, kind of looking to connect with the other families.
[00:13:34] Andrea VO: Yep. What were your impressions of her daughters? Because I assume like, I assume, I [00:13:40] assume the youngest was there with her quite a bit as well. Yeah. Everywhere she
[00:13:43] Michelle: went. Yeah. Never, never alone ever. Always had the youngest daughter with, with her. Um, the oldest daughter it was, is, was, could still be a fantastic gymnast.
[00:13:54] Michelle: Um, very naturally talented, very great at it, had the drive, had the strength, um, [00:14:00] had the right attitude, honestly, like really just all around. Everybody loved watching at meets and every, like the judges were always looking for her. Um, and yeah. Which is great. That’s what you want. Judges are waiting to see your kids perform and really fantastic athlete all around um, and Having the youngest daughter with her always sometimes in a wheelchair walking around [00:14:20] sometimes with leg braces on walking around Always had a class me bag on her always was wearing a diaper Said she wasn’t potty trained Would have like good days where like I said she was walking around and was able to get into the gym and stuff and then Really bad days where you know, she’s been hospitalized week and then in a wheelchair for the next month and, um, all those things.
[00:14:39] Michelle: But everybody [00:14:40] just kind of learned to go with those ebb and flows of that. And it was always something going on there. There was always like some, some thing going on, always a story to talk, always about like how the youngest always had an issue and how we had to mispractice because of this, or. Or some reason or whatever for, for not [00:15:00] being able to attend a meet or to be a practice or something like that because there’s always something with the youngest child.
[00:15:07] Andrea VO: Throughout the first six years of her life, C is at the doctor all the time for testing, evaluations, ER visits, and those gastrointestinal surgeries. And this is all happening while Sophie is keeping up with her [00:15:20] older daughter M’s demanding gymnastics schedule. And it doesn’t appear that Sophie had much help, if any, on the childcare front.
[00:15:27] Andrea VO: So she took C along with her. Another mom from the gym, who asked not to be identified by name, recalled the little girl’s constant presence.
[00:15:35] A: So, um, the younger daughter was She was often there, all [00:15:40] the time, because, um, when she started, she was living in Bellingham. So she was driving to Kent every day.
[00:15:51] Andrea VO: That’s a long drive. Every
[00:15:52] A: day.
[00:15:53] Andrea VO: I mean, how long would you say that drive is? It’s at least two hours. Two hours at least, yeah. It’s at least,
[00:15:57] A: well, it’s in, yeah, it’s two hours. And when I [00:16:00] heard that, I was like, what? Like, that’s crazy to do with two kids in the car. I, I couldn’t even To me, I’m like, there’s so many gyms up along Anyways, that was just like Why?
[00:16:13] A: I did not understand why somebody would do that because practice is four to five [00:16:20] hours. There’s no time for school. There’s no time for anything. No social life. No home life. No anything. And practice didn’t get over until 8. 30 at night. So they were often, like, staying in hotels, or, like, random, I [00:16:40] don’t know where they were staying, but they would stay overnight because we’d have practice Friday night, and then we’d have practice Saturday morning.
[00:16:46] A: So to go home and then come back made no sense. So they, a lot of times Friday nights they would stay in a hotel.
[00:16:53] Andrea VO: That’s intense.
[00:16:54] A: And then, yeah, besides the cost of it, the gas, the, I [00:17:00] mean, and all of that. Yeah. So, that’s how I knew, I knew of her that way, like, oh, she’s the person that drives down from Bellingham literally every day.
[00:17:11] Andrea VO: And is there something special about, so this is that metro, right? Is there something special about metro where like, this is the only gym that has that level of program? [00:17:20] No. We’ve all seen the interview clips with parents that they trot out in the feel good stories during the Olympics, about all the sacrifices that the athletes families made so that they could pursue their Olympic dreams.
[00:17:32] Andrea VO: But while every person we spoke to said that Em was indeed a talented gymnast and was in a serious gymnastics program, [00:17:40] this gym isn’t some one of a kind Olympian factory. In fact, there’s a different gym. Incidentally, about an hour closer to where Sophie lived at the time, that is a U. S. National Training Center.
[00:17:50] Andrea VO: And again, Em was six when they started this program. And kids that age don’t decide to drive four hours round trip to do gymnastics all day every day. [00:18:00] That’s on the parents. And as you can probably hear in this audio, I am absolutely baffled by this detail. I have two young kids, and long car trips with them are generally not a good time.
[00:18:13] Andrea VO: You basically pack snacks, charge up the tablets, and pray. I just truly cannot wrap my head around this commute, [00:18:20] especially for a single mom with a medically fragile child who needs the level of care that Sophie said she needed. Also, interestingly, Sophie isn’t working throughout this time. From what we could gather, she appeared to be living on a combination of state benefits and likely some financial assistance from her family.
[00:18:37] Andrea VO: So while I understand wanting to support your kids hobbies, [00:18:40] this is just so extreme, and the moms we spoke to remember Sophie constantly talking about the hardships of caring for Cee.
[00:18:47] A: She would, she would show everybody her, her braces and then Sophie would talk about, you know, where they went to get them, and what they had to do to get them, and the person who [00:19:00] had made them specially for her.
[00:19:02] A: I remember she talked about how they had ponies on them. Um, pink, purple ponies, I think. But, um, and there was somebody, there was a guy there that was a really tall, big guy, and she would always, like, jump up on him. Like jump up, like play like, you know, like jump on [00:19:20] him. Um, like she loved to do that, like jump up on him all the time when she was like running around and happy and like playing.
[00:19:27] A: But then some days she’d come in and she would just be like covered in a blanket and you know, she’d have like band aids on her hand, you know, and, and, and Sophie would tell us, Oh, she had a [00:19:40] really bad night. She had a really bad night. She had a really bad night. But then she wouldn’t say anything. Okay.
[00:19:45] A: So she wanted you to like, what did, what happened? It was sort
[00:19:49] Andrea VO: of a bid for what happened.
[00:19:50] A: Yeah. But she wouldn’t tell anybody what like she wouldn’t embellish on what the bad night was.
[00:19:56] Andrea VO: What were your impressions of the older daughter? Just, obviously [00:20:00] she’s a super talented gymnast. Yes. Very.
[00:20:02] A: Yeah. Yeah. Um, she seemed very, I mean, very self sufficient, very, um, you know, she, Took care of herself, basically.
[00:20:16] A: I mean, she did everything herself. She, [00:20:20] um, you know, there’s, uh, She was nice. She was quiet. She was just, um, you know, She didn’t really talk about much. I mean, I wasn’t around her a ton, but when I was, she was just very quiet and, you know, well [00:20:40] mannered and calm. I
[00:20:42] Andrea VO: Kind of reserved one about her business?
[00:20:43] Andrea VO: Yes,
[00:20:44] Myrriah: yeah. Okay. When you say she took care of, like, everything herself, do you mean like, I mean you said like self sufficient, but did you see the older daughter having to be kind of like, caretaker y in a way, of like, her mom and younger sibling?
[00:20:59] A: Well she [00:21:00] would, um, I mean, you know, they would have, they always had, you know, Like, the gymnasts, they have all of their stuff in a backpack, they have their grips, they have, you know, all of their stuff, and a lot of the moms would have, because they were there for so long, they would have snacks, they would have, you know, all this stuff, and a lot of the moms would make sure that, you know, do you have this, do you have [00:21:20] this, do you have, so you don’t want to leave that stuff at the gym because it gets expensive if you lose it every time, and, you know, she never asked her if she had any of that, but she, I think, you know, she knew she had to have it with her.
[00:21:33] A: I mean, obviously they’re going back to Bellingham, she’s not going to leave it there. But, um, she always made sure, you know, [00:21:40] she, if, um, the younger one was starting to run out into the gym, she grabbed her. She didn’t, you know, it was never Sophie who went after her, it was always her. So, you know, on the mats, because you can’t, there’s a spot where it’s like, you know, no, you know, only gymnasts pass this point.
[00:21:55] A: Um, and, uh,
[00:21:57] Andrea VO: And what would Sophie be doing when that happened? [00:22:00]
[00:22:00] A: She wouldn’t do anything.
[00:22:02] Andrea VO: She was just standing there. These small details of the family’s dynamic are really striking to me, partly because I have kids almost the exact ages of M, who is around six at this time, and C, who was a toddler during this period.
[00:22:15] Andrea VO: I’m just thinking about the struggle of getting my two out the door to kindergarten and preschool each day, [00:22:20] and this is just that times a million. And listen, I’m not saying that M didn’t enjoy gymnastics, I mean, it’s a little bit of a mystery. but with kids this age, the parents are the drivers, especially with a training program so intense that the girls participating can’t even attend normal school.
[00:22:34] Andrea VO: Since she began her motherhood journey in Zambia, Sophie just seems to make choice after choice that pile [00:22:40] on this self imposed hardship, beginning with the decision to push through a transracial foreign adoption as a single woman with no job, whose own frontal lobe was barely fully developed. Then choosing to move many states away from her entire support system.
[00:22:56] Andrea VO: Then putting her daughter in an all consuming sports program a [00:23:00] two hour drive from home, while caring with a younger child with a debilitating condition. And setting aside the piece about C’s medical issues, and we’ll get into all of that, none of these circumstances befell Sophie. She chose all of this.
[00:23:14] Andrea VO: I just can’t square it.[00:23:20]
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[00:23:21] Andrea VO: As C got older, her condition appeared to worsen, and as part of her treatment, she enrolled in various therapies to help with her challenges with cognition and movement. From her speech pathologist to her occupational therapist to the instructor at her horse riding school, everyone seemed charmed by C, who is constantly smiling in pictures and [00:23:40] videos from this time and is just generally pretty darn cute.
[00:23:43] Teacher 1: She was more able to kind of get jokes, and engage. She[00:24:00] [00:24:20]
[00:24:37] Riding Instructor: talks about her dog, ponies, her sister, and [00:24:40] donuts mainly. She talks about food all the time. Yeah, it’s one of her favorite subjects. She’s like, oh, we’re going to go and get donuts after this.
[00:24:50] Andrea VO: So eventually, Sophie moves to the south end of Seattle. We couldn’t confirm the reason for this move, but the family landed in Renton, putting them within 5 miles of the gym where Em was [00:25:00] still training for hours each day.
[00:25:02] Andrea VO: While the move makes their daily commute less cumbersome, C’s condition, according to Sophie, continues to baffle doctors. It
[00:25:09] Sophie: would be like, you could watch it on one side of her body, be like all the way limp. And if she could crawl, she would be like crawling with that one side and then [00:25:20] dragging the other side.
[00:25:21] Detective: Oh my God.
[00:25:21] Sophie: And then it would switch and it would go to the other side. And I’m like, I’m a crazy person. I’m like, what is happening? And every time I go in, like to the doctor, she wouldn’t be exhibiting those symptoms. I’m like, I know this sounds crazy, but I’m not making this up. This is not, this is not.
[00:25:33] Sophie: Yeah. Well, you’re the mom. Yeah. So anyways, we decided I would, we started with the neurologist at Seattle [00:25:40] Children’s to pursue genetic testing. Cause we’re like, and the, The neurologist had seen, so we decided to do genetic testing. At that time, then the neurologist, like, right before she was putting in the order, or she put in the order, she went on emergency maternity leave.
[00:25:57] Sophie: Oh. So, when a provider has [00:26:00] put in the order, if they’re not there, then you have to either get approval from someone else on their team, or you have to wait until they’re back. Well, I think she went into labor really early or something because it was an emergency. It wasn’t planned. Like we, I knew she was pregnant or whatever.
[00:26:14] Sophie: Um, but so then once she went on emergency, uh, maternity leave, I was like, okay, [00:26:20] we can’t wait like the three, four months. Yeah. It’s going to be, what other provider can we, you know, I’m like, these are the things that are going on. I don’t want to wait. There’s more GI stuff. Nothing that they’re doing is working.
[00:26:32] Sophie: We’re just trying medicine, medicine, medicine, and it’s not working. So can we have a referral to go to Mary [00:26:40] bridge children’s for a second opinion? So we got that and is that Mary bridge in Tacoma? So we got that. And, um, I, I, I, got on the phone with them and I was like, Hey, I’m not super happy with our care at Seattle children’s.
[00:26:59] Sophie: [00:27:00] We are struggling because I just don’t feel like they take things seriously. Also because my daughter appears to have a pretty severe but episodic condition. And the problem is that if I can’t get her in that day, then they don’t see what I’m talking about. And I’m taking videos, I’m sending them videos and they’re like, Oh, [00:27:20] this, you know, okay.
[00:27:20] Sophie: What did they say about the videos? They were just like, Oh, that’s odd. Or, Oh, that does look like dystonia. But then nothing would ever happen. Dystonia is like abnormal position. So that’s another type of episode, which is like, so you see like, um, kids who have really severe like cerebral palsy, their body position [00:27:40] gets locked.
[00:27:40] Sophie: That’s from like high muscle tone.
[00:27:44] Andrea VO: As you heard, Sophie seems to move from doctor to doctor seeking answers. And you also may be thinking, with all this caretaking of C and M’s gymnastics stuff, this must be getting expensive. And again, no one we spoke to or who the police spoke [00:28:00] to had any recollection of Sophie having a job.
[00:28:03] Andrea VO: This quandary of how she was participating in one of the most expensive youths to her fellow gymnastics moms.
[00:28:10] Michelle: There was, there was one mom who really helped a lot with them. And, um, this mom like picked up, dropped off. They traveled with when Sophie can [00:28:20] travel because of her youngest daughter. They took her out on travel meets.
[00:28:23] Michelle: They, um, I don’t honestly know how gymnastics was paid for. It must have been a scholarship situation. I mean, gymnastics is an expensive sport. Just tuition and assessment fees alone. You’re at like almost 12 grand a year. That’s what that’s outside of. Airfare, [00:28:40] hotels, food, all the things that it takes place to travel for gymnastics.
[00:28:45] Michelle: I mean, I don’t know, like I know that Metropolitan has a huge booster club, and, like, people donate to it and businesses donate to it, and you have to volunteer in order to, you have to be a part of the booster club, you have to register, and you have to do so many volunteer [00:29:00] hours in order to get, like,
[00:29:01] Andrea VO: things paid for.
[00:29:02] Andrea VO: Unclear whether Sophie did any volunteer work at the gym, but hard to see where she would have found the time. Unclear. But this whole situation just felt off to many of the parents at the gym.
[00:29:12] A: I remember talking about it with another mom. Um, I just thought it was, I just thought it was the whole, [00:29:20] I thought the whole situation was strange in that she has a very sick kid, you know, when I, when we knew how sick she was and she has to go to all of these doctor’s appointments.
[00:29:33] A: She would start to talk about money, and how, you know, she doesn’t have any money, and she needs fundraisers and all this stuff, and then she picks [00:29:40] the, not picks, but her daughter is in the most, one of the most expensive sports. I would also think, like, where does she get her money from? Like, she does not seem to have a job, so, cause she’s here all the time.
[00:29:54] A: She’s with, you know, Ed. Money is always going out, so where [00:30:00] is the money coming in from? I mean, she, I know she wrote a book, but that could not be that much, that can’t, can’t bring in that much profit. I figured that she was getting money from her church, and I was guessing, um, but I don’t know.
[00:30:15] Andrea VO: I have to break in here as an author who has worked in and around book publishing [00:30:20] for 20 years to let you know that Sophie’s book was not a source of income.
[00:30:26] Andrea VO: Book advances can vary wildly. But for a first time author, if you get more than 20, 000, you’re lucky. And that’s if you have a big publisher. Now, Sophie’s memoir is self published, meaning she had to front all of the [00:30:40] costs for production. And I will say, this book looks pretty professionally produced, as does the sweeping cinematic book trailer she made to market it.
[00:30:49] Andrea VO: None of this looks DIY. This could easily have been a 10, 000 investment on Sophie’s part. So frankly, I’d be shocked if Sophie came anywhere near to breaking even on this [00:31:00] project. And I’m not saying this to be mean about Sophie’s author career. This book is just another thing that begs the question, where did all this money come from?
[00:31:09] Andrea VO: The money for the adoptions, the money to go to Zambia in the first place, the money for gymnastics, and all of C’s treatments and therapies. [00:31:20] So,
[00:31:21] Detective: uh, the fundraiser for, that your church did, um, were you a part of that? My husband’s the senior pastor we planted about six years ago. Oh, okay. And so, um, I was there, yes.
[00:31:32] Detective: And, um, he just felt, um, Like, uh, he was supposed to take like a love offering, you know, [00:31:40] um, and invited the church to, you know, give whatever they wanted, um, towards the vehicle that Sophie needed for, uh, It’s like a wheelchair accessible SUV, something like that, with like a ramp. And I [00:32:00] believe the church raised about around 30, 000, something like that.
[00:32:06] Andrea VO: This is from a police interview with a friend from Pursuit Northwest, the church that Sophie joined after moving to Seattle. As she says, the church helped raise over 30, 000 to help Sophie purchase a wheelchair accessible vehicle.
[00:32:19] New Ancor: This [00:32:20] brings us back to that feel good story we heard at the top of episode one about fundraising for the
[00:32:24] Andrea VO: special van for Cee.
[00:32:25] Andrea VO: The fundraiser came about a year after Sophie started taking
[00:32:33] Andrea VO: Cee to Duke University Medical Center in North Carolina [00:32:40] to visit their renowned AHC clinic. AHC, or Alternating Hemiplegia of Childhood, is a rare and potentially debilitating neurological condition. We’re going to bring in an expert in an upcoming episode to help us better understand AHC, but this was the diagnosis Sophie reported to friends, family, and the news media during this time.
[00:32:58] Andrea VO: By the time she was [00:33:00] fundraising for C’s Van, Sophie was well versed in asking for money. From Em’s adoption in 2014 onward, there were frequent asks for money. These came from GoFundMes , marathon beneficiaries, and even a Catholic school that raised money for children with disabilities. Sophie, a single unemployed mother of two, was always raising money, [00:33:20] and there was often a particular emphasis on leaning on her community’s sense of Christian charity.
[00:33:26] Andrea VO: You mentioned that you thought she was getting some money from the church. Is that something that she talked about, or like, is that on social media? Like, how did you get that impression?
[00:33:34] A: Um, just she talked about, she was very into her church, and um, the [00:33:40] fundraisers seemed to go through the church. From what I noticed from, like, they were, um, posted on her church, the church sites, a lot, I think.
[00:33:51] Andrea VO: She had sort of a social media account that was dedicated to her younger daughter. And that was about raising money, or raising awareness, or following her [00:34:00] journey, or A bit of both. All of that. All of that.
[00:34:02] A: Okay. So she had a huge fundraiser, at one point, to raise money to get a, um, like a handicap accessible Like, car.
[00:34:15] A: Vehicle. Like a pilot. I think it was a Honda Pilot that she got. Um, [00:34:20] I mean, that’s expensive. Those are not cheap cars. Um, and she got it. So she raised enough money. And I, I mean, she sold sweatshirts. I don’t know how that much could come to sell a sweatshirt from sweatshirts to get a car, but.
[00:34:37] Andrea VO: Sounds like maybe there was a couple of different sources [00:34:40] that were contributing.
[00:34:41] Andrea VO: Yeah,
[00:34:41] A: I’m sure. So, um, and that, I’m pretty sure, I mean, again, I’m not positive, but I think that was sponsored by the church. It went through the church, and then, The dealership did something with it, too. Got it. So, um, because the [00:35:00] younger one was getting a new wheelchair that was going to, that had like, that was bigger, because she was getting bigger and she couldn’t lift her anymore.
[00:35:10] A: And
[00:35:11] Andrea VO: did you, did you see the younger one in her wheelchair?
[00:35:16] A: I never saw her in a wheelchair. I saw her in a stroller. [00:35:20] But never a wheelchair.
[00:35:25] Andrea VO: The fundraisers, which we heard about earlier in this series for this wheelchair accessible car, went on to raise just over 45, 000, which got them the car, along with a discount from the dealership. And [00:35:40] from the schedule she was keeping with the girls alone, which included homeschooling, gymnastics, equine therapy, and all the doctor’s appointments, there seemed to be no time for a job.
[00:35:50] Andrea VO: And another thing that stands out to me, no partner. We’ve talked quite a bit about dads in these cases in previous seasons, and they really run the gamut. From dads like [00:36:00] George Honeycutt and Ryan Crawford, who move heaven and earth to protect their kids, to dads like Lou Pelletier and Jack Kowalski, who not only enable this abuse, but take a pretty active role in it.
[00:36:11] Andrea VO: But in this case, there were no partners in Sophie’s life at all. This is not a group that loves to go to work. With the exception of Hopi Bara, [00:36:20] building a career is just not the central focus of most of these women’s lives. And there is often confusion in these cases about the difference between Munchausen behaviors and what are known as malingering behaviors, where someone engages in medical deception for a tangible benefit, like money or in order to evade something like military service or a job.
[00:36:37] Andrea VO: Or going to work. And while Sophie was [00:36:40] raising a lot of money during this time, it seemingly wasn’t the only motivator. These fundraisers were incredibly public, with Sophie and the girls appearing in commercials, Sophie speaking at benefit galas, and lots and lots of social media activity, in addition to coverage on the local news.
[00:36:56] Andrea VO: Here again is that news report we heard at the top of the series.
[00:36:59] News Ancor: We [00:37:00] just wanted to put their positive energy out there and I can’t tell you how fun it is to be around her smile. It’s just, um, so inspiring and just amazing. So I hope that, you know, they get the help that they need.
[00:37:14] Andrea VO: So while the spotlight was on Sophie for her heroic mothering, when the cameras were gone, Sophie’s [00:37:20] behavior around the girls seemed off.
[00:37:23] Andrea VO: Here’s a neighbor who spent a lot of time with the family.
[00:37:26] Neighbor: She’s just an all powerful, very powerful force over there. Um, very mistrustful of You know, she keeps the kids away from school. She keeps the kids away from other kids. Um, I’m [00:37:40] really kind of against, uh, home schooling. And she’s, she just couldn’t imagine sending the kids to school.
[00:37:48] Neighbor: And I think the gymnastics for Maya is just kind of a way to keep her controlled.
[00:37:52] Andrea VO: What was clear from all of the interviews is that C and M were rarely alone with other adults. Their world was very narrow [00:38:00] and Sophie was omnipresent.
Ad Break – Act 3
[00:38:10] Andrea VO: Between recorded interviews with people who knew her and the folks we spoke to, a clearer picture of Sophie was really starting to emerge. Everyone spoke about how fixated she [00:38:20] seemed on C’s health issues. And another thing that she brought up a lot was her daughter’s race. Here we are again with one of the gymnastics moms.
[00:38:28] A: I remember specifically we were on, at a team, at a meet in like, I don’t remember where we were. Here we are. Let’s say like Arizona or somewhere, but we were at the table and [00:38:40] we were getting up I can’t remember what we were doing. We were at a separate table and the kids were all sitting at one table.
[00:38:47] A: And, um, we were trying to tell the server, like, who our kids were. You know? And, um, so I was pointing out, you know, oh, those are mine. And [00:39:00] she’s like, oh, it’s really easy to find mine. Mine’s the black one over there. It’s kind of uncomfortable. For anybody. For a kid. For all of us. Like, we’re just like Okay.
[00:39:12] A: But that’s basically how she, she was very, you know, um, or she would make, um, you [00:39:20] know, a big deal about chalk getting in her hair or, you know, if, if somebody, you know, cause I mean chalk is everywhere in the gym, everywhere. You cannot, you know, if somebody happened to walk by and, you know, clap their hands near her hair, it was a huge deal because nobody understood.[00:39:40]
[00:39:40] A: how hard it was to do her hair. I don’t, I know, I understand that, but it didn’t need to be like, you didn’t need to make kids feel bad about being near her. You’re in a gym with chalk. It’s going to happen. So don’t make them feel bad about it.
[00:39:59] Andrea VO: Would she kind of [00:40:00] like get on other kids case? Oh yeah,
[00:40:02] A: absolutely.
[00:40:03] A: Yes.
[00:40:04] Andrea VO: So like, make them feel bad. So she would like, schooled a kid, like, don’t clap near my daughter’s hair because my daughter’s hair, you don’t understand, cause And, and how would her daughter react in these moments?
[00:40:17] A: I feel like she was [00:40:20] Embarrassed, you
[00:40:21] Andrea VO: know. We heard of other incidents from parents at the same gym about how Sophie would often make a point to bring up the girl’s race.
[00:40:29] Andrea VO: And
[00:40:29] Michelle: like at every meet, it was like, oh look, I have the only black daughter out there on the gym, in the meet. And, oh look, she’s the only black, like, I can remember being at a meet specifically with [00:40:40] another family at Metro, and she walked up and she was like, yet again, The only black athlete that’s out there.
[00:40:45] Michelle: And it’s like, okay, well not really. Maybe in this session, yes. But like in general, not the
[00:40:51] Andrea VO: only one. Now a big note that I want to make here is that the moms we spoke to about these incidents at the gym are white. And I say this as a fellow [00:41:00] white mom of white children, there might be dynamics here that we, as white moms of white children, are not especially attuned to.
[00:41:07] Andrea VO: And lack of diversity in sports like gymnastics is a very real thing. It’s also true that the mention of the existence of race can make people extremely reactive. I am in the same basic demographic as these [00:41:20] moms and I was raised in the Pacific Northwest in the 80s and 90s. The vibe around this was very much.
[00:41:25] Andrea VO: We don’t see color, so there’s that. And while any individual anecdote about how Sophie discussed the race of her girls might be brushed off as a mom doing her best with the tools she has, this came up again and again with people we spoke to. [00:41:40] And many folks had the distinct impression that Sophie was using her daughter’s race as a way to get attention for herself and also to give her a kind of upper hand in a given situation.
[00:41:49] Andrea VO: Now I don’t feel entirely equipped to handle this discussion, so we asked Chad Kohler Sogener. artist, educator, and transracial adoption consultant for his take on all of it. [00:42:00]
[00:42:00] Chad: Whether good or bad, you’re drawing attention. I’m sure I can’t imagine a world where her daughter appreciates that happening. So, I mean, I think her daughter wouldn’t appreciate it happening.
[00:42:10] Chad: And I think that’s when it becomes more performative. Sometimes that something is interesting because even in spaces where they are wanting to celebrate [00:42:20] blackness, they still have to be the, the, the main person. So that wasn’t really about the kid. First of all, you’re in a gym. Don’t take your kid to a gym and, you know, you can’t, I mean, that’s gymnastics.
[00:42:31] Chad: That’s what they do. They chalk their hands. You’re telling other kids. First of all, why are you rebuking other people’s children? I mean, there’s so much.[00:42:40]
[00:42:43] Chad: But yeah, I just think that based on what you just said, I didn’t call that unnecessary. And it’d be, um, when the probative doesn’t really do anything. It seems like it’s Windows Pulse. Like, oh, look, I’m, you know, I’m being a sensitive mother or something like, you [00:43:00] know.
[00:43:00] Andrea VO: And there it is. This is the through line.
[00:43:03] Andrea VO: Sophie forever at the center of the story. Her daughter’s challenges, the harrowing situation in their homeland that Sophie describes herself rescuing them from, her plight to snatch them from the jaws of the corrupt adoption system, C’s interminable health troubles, the racism they encounter as [00:43:20] black children, It’s all about Sophie, but Sophie’s carefully crafted narrative of her heroism in the face of suffering was about to start coming undone.
Preview
[00:43:32] Andrea VO: Next time.
[00:43:33] Neighbor: But my observation, I’ve never seen a more normal kid in my life, you know, I haven’t. [00:43:40]
Credits
[00:43:40] Andrea VO: Nobody Should Believe Me is written, hosted, and executive produced by me, Andrea Dunlop. Our senior producer is Maria Gossett. Story editing by Nicole Hill, research and fact checking by Erin Ajayi, and our associate producer is Greta Stromquist.
[00:43:56] Andrea VO: Mixing and engineering by Robin Edgar. If you or anyone [00:44:00] you know is a victim or survivor of medical child abuse, please go to Munchausensupport. com to connect with professionals who can help.